2016 Wandererererer – Launceston Weekendeerererer

The gong sounded for the 2016 Wanderererer when Lewah’s alarm rang at 4:45am on Saturday morning. He got halfway to town and then realised he had left the Trophy at home on his specially crafted glory shelf that holds Lewah’s many golfing awards (and some he’s minding for Basil). A quick U-Bolt home and the boys would have something to play for!
Lewah felt a bit weird, and was put on the Zep’s stalker list, having been there at 7pm the night before and there again at 6:57am the next day. Had to wait for them to open.

Country Club

There was a moment’s contemplation to acknowledge our World Number One who was not able to be here to defend his Wanderererer crown, and other Gents who were not able to be there (everyone else! The carrier pigeon we sent Ian never got there, or we may have had another Gent on the tee!)

Lewah and Cravo teed it up in comp off the back marks

  • Lewah leant on his putter and broke it on the 2nd hole! Too funny.
  • He got one putt pars at next 2 holes with the 3 hybrid, so decided to stick with it for the round rather than buy another one (which Cravo gave permission for)
  • Controversy when the locals we were playing with wouldn’t let Lewah play his ball when he found it after he’d already taken a drop and played a 2nd ball.
  • More controversy when the locals made up a bullshit rule where if they lost their ball and there happened to be a drain in the general area they would play one from there, even though they never saw it go in. A bit creative these Northerners.
  • Cravo hit 2 balls in the dam (and actually had to hit 4 off the tee to be safe) on the 5th hole. Shithouse golf!
  • Cravo 5 putt from 2ft on the 7th hole. Missed the first couple and then just didn’t care and was going for the Lewah giggle (and succeeded!)
  • 47 Lewah 57 Cravo front
  • Cravo finally hit a good shot with an imperious 4 iron on 14. got his first par on 16 (lipped out for bird) and backed it up on 17 (missed a 2m birdie putt)
  • 49 Cravo back Lewah 51
  • Lewah played “jumbo jet golf” on the back, starting at the 12th. his scores from there on were 7474747
  • The course was interesting and above expectations. Would like to play it again when the greens speed up
Lewah 98 (+15)
Cravo 106 (+20)
Clubhouse leader – nobody (need 2 rounds to be clubhouse leader)
Lots of fun and beat the locals who also played bollocks!


  • Highlights for Lewah were surviving and the new heavy putter he bought
  • Keith killed it on the back nine for a 53 with crisp irons and good drives and good putting. He put on a clinic!
  • Keith hit a great putt on 11 but it did a 270 and lipped out. He also holed quite a few
  • Felix was generally killing it, but couldn’t get the speed of the greens. Was his new “hunchback of Notre Dame” putting style the issue?
  • Lewah holed two long par putts on the par 3s – 4th & 10th, but hit it sideways off the tee on the par 3 8th on his way to a triple, causing Felix to giggle.
  • Cravo got a nice par on the 1st, but followed it up with a Leroy giggle-maker drive on 2 featuring a horrible cut into the pines that took an anti-Basil kick way deeper. First of a few anti-Basil kicks for the Gents.
  • Keith had 1 hole on each nine where he could bring us fwd off the blues to the white tees. He used it on 2nd so we didn’t have to hit over the lake. Wise, or unduly cautious – we’ll never know.
  • Keith says he plays well middle north (Longford, Lonnie), and a bit further north (St. Andrews beach) but not North Coast (Barnbougle).
  • Cravo magnificent slight draw high 2 iron 178m uphill into a stiff breeze to 2m. Didn’t get the bird, and Lewah also got par by hitting a skied tee shot, acceptable pitch and draining a monster putt. Rude.
  • Lewah wedge 90m downhill on 14 cleared the cavernous bunker by 2cm and almost holed it then ran 6ft by
  • Felix intentional towering fade drives to the middle of the fairway
  • Just finding the ball in the rough! Took ages a real Easter egg hunt.
  • Layout of the 17th a real highlight with the fairway bunkering, lake and green. Both Felix and Lewah hit thru the hawthorn bush by the green into the creek, so got punished
  • Felix a bit unlucky there and it hurt going triple triple on 16 & 17. Good par on the last to finish off though
Keithy a scintillating +5
Felix +9
Lewah +11
Cravo +15
Lewah +26
Cravo +35
so effectively no leaderboard really! Heaps of room to go under that.
We all retired to Star of Siam for some great food and cold beer. At dinner Keith contemplated the conundrum of whether to miss either his morning run or lunch with his aunts & come back on Sunday and go for the title…… Ultimately choosing a jog and some Aunty time, but with a glow of satisfaction from smoking it at Mowbray.
Lewah, Cravo and Felix went back to the accom to be serenaded by the filthy covers band next door playing 70s and 80s hits til midnight, then the drunk locals shouting on the street keeping Lewah awake.
A few beers and a glass of Lark whiskey and some fine balcony time on a lovely Lonnie night
A kiss goodnight from Felix



– Cravo forgetting his putter on the practice green and having to drive the cart all the way back up the 1st to get it. Then later the cart ran out of juice at the bottom of the hill on the 520m 18th – so Cravos fault he and Lewah had to carry their bags!
– Cravo’s decision to go coffee free looked like a shocker when had an aimless bumbly 9 on the 1st, but good fight back from there
-Felix 4 pars in a row, starting on the 2nd (hardest hole)
– Lewah very very tidy until a quintuple bogey 9 on the 9th hole kinda stuffed his scorecard
– Cravo birdie on the 7th hole (par 4 with dam in front of green)
The visual illusions and trickery of Riverside and Launceston where everything looked closer than it actually was. And Felix’s golf shot rangefinder couldn’t handle it either, so it wasn’t just fatigue affecting our eyes.
– Felix pure 8 iron into the par 3 10th, slight draw straight at it. Birdie putt burned the edge.
– Felix and Cravo had a rules debate about whether Felix should get a penalty or a free drop when his ball flew over the front edge and landed in the dam (that bit was staked both red & yellow). Felix 90% acceptance of a penalty. That fired them both up with great irons onto the next par 3 and very gettable birdie putts (Felix lipped out, Cravo hit a pissweak putt!)
– Felix hitting it about a hundred metres wide of the 18th green, pretty much in the pro shop. Well, not quite
Final scores Felix and Cravo both shot 92 for +4, Lewah had 96 for +11. Life’s tough for the low handicapper! Now he knows a little bit how Basil feels


The situation at the start of play:
– Felix clubhouse leader with a +4 & a +9, so if everyone played shit then the title would be his!
– Lewah needed +2 or less to get in front of Felix, and for Cravo and Felix to shoot high 90s
– Felix and Cravo both had a +4 in the bank, and were on the same handicap – so effectively a stick battle to see who could go lowest and beat +9
Although…. Keith could show up, play like he did on the back at Mowbray, grab a 2nd Major and be well on his way to World Number 1 as well
Lowlight was the cored (scarrified) greens and how completely rooted we all felt. But a Major was on the line, so no time for lowlights!
Awesome to be playing on Mr Sexy’s home track, the place where he crafted his golf game. Didn’t find any 20 year old pairs of knickers, although we definitely went far enough into the bushes to, so that was a relief! haha
– Cravo driving it into the green side trap on the short par 4 1st, getting out then nearly snagging a birdie. Lewah easy par too.
– Cravo 4 pars, 2 bogies to start. Hot golf!
– Felix great birdie and 2 shot swing in the stick battle on the 6th hole
– nevertheless, Cravo a couple under handicap and 7 in front of Felix in stick battle after the front 9
– Lewah well out of it after the front nine having used up all his handicap, too tired to swing a club but somehow driving magnificently well and then understandably fluffing lots of irons. And particularly bunker shots. Many Felix giggles
– Cravo all sweet on the back nine with easy bogey golf and loads of shots to spare on handicap looking good for the win, until a sideways hack on 15 (escaped with a bogey after good up & down from over the bunker), got cheeky with a lay up 9 iron short of the green side bunkers on 16 chip on and easy bogey. Score count had him with 10 spare handicap shots for the last 2 holes but a mystery lost ball on 17 and some trees led to a quad bogey. Stood on the last tee needing a 9 or better on the short par 4. Got a good drive away, and then just neatly and conservatively tapped it gently up the hill and again gently up the hill short of the green and bunkers and craven wedge on for 4. Felix said right now I want to see a putt with some conviction and Cravo said no way, I’m just going to dribble it down close to the hole and so he did a soft little lag then tap in dbl bogey for a 4 shot win. Felix said “congratulations you big girl!”. Haha! And there’s your Wanderererererer champion for 2016, Cravo. His first Major win for 2&1/2 years.
On the car ride home Lewah pointed out that if Cravo wins the MM Final in a couple of weeks, then 2016 will be the “Leigh Slam” – all Majors won by someone called Leigh. Just need to break the Aurora Curse!
The Secretary

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s