Intros are a Lost Bougle Tradition. Every year the nerves and excitement build for each player as they stand on the 1st tee waiting, heart pounding, butterflies in the stomach, getting the breath under control – while a fellow Gent craps on about them and everyone giggles.
Cravo 2016/17 (by Felix)
Oh so close last year, with a choke that only Greg Norman, Jordan Speith and the dominatrix at Tarraleah could possibly understand, this bloke is in illustrious company.
This fine gentleman has put together some scintillating rounds of late, that has had the other tour players muttering adjectives such as ‘Unbeatable’ and ‘favourite’ and ‘How can we snap his Driver?’
Now with two girls, it is believed this tour founding member has changed, his girls tempering his fire and channelling his drive into a perfect focus that harnesses Zen golf like never before, that or he’s too tired to give a shit, which looks like Zen golf
Everyone loves it when this man comes to compete and turns it on so please put your phones on silent as we watch Cravo give the club a massive heave Ho. One of the favourites!
Leroy 2016/17 (by Basil)
Basil wrote his intro using old technology (paper and pen), and then threw it in the recycling before we could capture it in full. Here is the main gist:
Felix 2015/16 (by Cravo) (heavily edited – had to be cut short so we could actually start play before dark)
Now stepping onto the tee, a man who has had a wonderful year on the Tasmanian Gentlemen’s World Tour, adding another Matchplay Masters title to his bulging Trophy cabinet, challenging for victory in 2 of the other 3 Majors, solidifying his position as World Number Two and aiming to claim his 2nd Bougle and move back to Number One this week. All that and recently getting his handicap down to 12, after shooting +9 at Kingston Beach – before a bit of sensible bushrangering to get out to 14 for this most prestigious Major.
His recent sex scandal (he got his Barnbougle masseuse pregnant) certainly hasn’t harmed his game.
Despite sometimes looking a little short in golf photos, Felix has the biggest game on the World Tour. No one can match his raw power and balletic grace (he beat us all up here on my birthday round – sprained ankle and all – doing actual pirouettes when hitting his drives).
Felix possesses a terrifying mix of golfing attributes (as well as shooting green laser beams out of his eyes) which often sees him beat his opponents mentally before even stepping on the first tee.
Gentlemen please put your hands together for the Reigning Matchplay Master, World Number Two, and past Bougle winner – Felix Camembert Kennedy. One of the favourites!!
Alex 2015/16 (by Cravo)
Now stepping onto the tee, a man who needs no introduction, and often – no pants!
This tall gentleman is well known in World Golf for his impeccable swing, debonair fashion, dashing good looks, quickfire wit, vigorous shoulder-rubs and acting as a good luck charm for someone in his group in almost every Major he’s played – having helped Cravo (twice) and Felix (once) to Major glory.
There have been some famous Mr Pants achievements right here at past Lost Bougles! Number One was racking up 29 shots on Toms Little Devil. Two was eating all of Basil’s dessert! Three was the four hours of steamy sexual stories from his past that took up the entire ride home from Barny one year!
But all jokes aside, we have all seen this fine Gent hit his devastating high draws and tear Barny and Lost Farm apart, despite only playing about once a year.
We all respect his golf pedigree (being the son of a State A Grade Champ), we are all possibly a little jealous that he’s still shagging heaps of young hotties, and we look forward in coming years to being in awe and fear of his golf game (when he finds the time to play a bit more often).
He would be one of the favourites for this years Lost Bougle Trophy if he were playing all 3 days.
We are honoured and privileged that he has come up today to help us make more history on the Tassie Gentlemen’s World Tour – gentlemen, I give you Alex Nureyev Palmer.
Basil 2016/17 (by Cravo)
After taking a break from the Gentleperson’s World Tour in 2016 to pursue his joint loves of haiku poems and ikebana (traditional Japanese flower arranging), Bas is back!