In order to prepare for their Title defence, the League hired a sneaky golf PI firm – Cranberry, Puddle & Leech Associates – to assess the strengths and weaknesses of each player on the GWT. Here are the results, along with novelty photos:
Player: Basil van Riet (C)
GA Handicap: 6
Golf Strength: All the strengths
Golf weakness: Missing putts (occasionally) on the right side.
Special Ability: Genuinely happy for other people’s great shots.
Likes: Long walks be it Overland or through the marram grass on the 18th at Barnbougle.
Dislikes: Drinking whiskey the night before golf and wearing ties.
Player: Tim Johnson
Golf Strength: Plays better than his handicap when it counts and never 3 putts (has 4 putted once or twice)
Golf weakness: He buys golf balls that are afraid of heights.
Special Ability: Collecting lost divots and re-homing them on a different part of the course.
Likes: To tell unorthodox stories
Dislikes: The taxman looking into his golf winnings
Player: Leigh Craven
GA Handicap: 15
Golf Strength: Stand and deliver monster Drives
Golf weakness: Knee drops on some wedge shots
Special Ability: Confident no fear swings.
Likes: Good vibes and when the points are breaking.
Dislikes: Using the grooves – hint hint, clean your clubs man!
Player: Felix Kennedy
GA Handicap: 17
Golf Strength: Very used to hitting 2nd shots from the rough or other fairway.
Golf weakness: Turning easy pars into triple bogeys.
Special Ability: Every swing of the club is unique and will never be repeated
Likes: Competitions within competitions (prepare for some side bets)
Dislikes: Greasy hands from applying sunscreen.
Player: Ian Hermanis
GA Handicap: 17
Golf Strength: Short Irons (ironic as he’s long everywhere else).
Golf weakness: Drivey Slicey
Special Ability: Plays better when heckled.
Likes: Cracking a tinny on the course.
Dislikes: Not being able to crack a tinny on the course because no-one else does.
Player: Leigh Stevens
GA Handicap: 12
Golf Strength: Chipping
Golf weakness: Left-handedness
Special Ability: Pirouette follow through on tee shots.
Likes: To giggle
Dislikes: Not going bushwalking, fishing, mountain bike riding & snowboarding at least 8 times a year (each).
Cranberry, Puddle & Leech recommendations:
Basil : poison his breakfast with hard spirits & force him to wear a tie, or just do not play him.
Tim : do not listen to his stories or accept any offers of personal favours for holing a putt.
Cravo : throw his putter in a dam early on, forcing him to chip the ball.
Felix : sit back and enjoy the show – what will be will be.
Ian : carry a beer around, do not open it, but do not tease him about it – say nothing.
Leroy : enforce a giggle ban, and then hit a couple duff shots and chuck a hissy fit.